J.C. Belding

You have good imagery and there certainly was a good amount of humor and charm in it but it's a bit too akward to leave a lasting impression. Next time ...

There once was a man, a holy man, who traveled to the sea. He beheld its might, its will to fight, and shouted out with glee. But as darkness came, ...

Your poems pretty good but you should fix up some grammatical errors. It could also have been written more clearly.

Nice ideas but the entire piece doesn't flow that smoothly. You shoul go back and edits the piece slightly. Your meter is also needs some work, but once this is ...

Good job. You managed to pull off the ryming scheme quite well, considering the size of the poem. The plot was slightly confusing but otherwise, good job! Keep on writing.

The "holy matron" is just a representation for old traditions and beliefs and the poem is centered upon the idea of breaking away from old and possibly foolish customs. It ...

Use more discriptive language. Also, try to be more exciting in your work and add some rymes to make it run smoother. Anyway, okay job.

Add some rymes to your poem. Right now it's really choppy. With rymes your work can be smoothed out. You have a good plot but you should make your message ...

You have a lot of emotion in your piece. You could have used more discriptors though. This would help you show the reader your feelings instead of just telling them. ...

Thanks for the advice. It was really helpfull.

Holy matron from lands above, How perfect, how true are you? Your claim to fame is all but a game, A game you make us play too. You are tired ...

As the darkest blood stains the brightest throne, Justice will shine and the truth will be shown. Those who claim right will be punished for wrong, As voices long dead ...

You did a pretty good job with the ryming and your plot was great. There were a few bumbs and a slight confusion near the end but nothing to get ...

To put it plainly, the poem is both unclear and pointless. But hey as long as you tried your best it's okay. But you should really read some poetry before ...

Thanks. I'll get right on those corrections and PM you.